


Soothed

by Rysler



Category: Guiding Light
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-18
Updated: 2011-04-18
Packaged: 2017-10-18 08:45:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/187063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rysler/pseuds/Rysler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Emo shower sex.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Soothed

If Olivia was honest with herself--and she wasn't going to be all the time, because that was a road that led to misery--but if she were, then having Natalia around was exactly like having a wife. Not just a caretaker, but really, having someone to tutor Emma and drop her off at school, having someone to cook dinner, and having someone to sleep with that wasn't--well, some guy.

Natalia was downright pleasant.

Olivia took advantage of that, because she'd never had a wife before. And because that's just what she did. She didn't feel guilty. Step-parenting was a two-way street. For every time Olivia didn't have to worry about Emma, Natalia didn't have to worry about Rafe.

Olivia was sure she got the raw end of that deal, because while baking cookies with Jellybean was extraordinary. But he was Gus's son and she had Gus's heart and she had Rafe's mother.

It didn't really matter. She was the one who took the raw deals, and Natalia was the one who took care of her.

That was marriage, right?

Looking after Rafe basically meant going drinking with him, which Olivia was more than willing to do. He was an excellent designated driver.

Staring sideways at Rafe, she drawled, "You're no fun when I drink."

Rafe wasn't in uniform, but still he had a military air about him. His back was straight. His hair was cut. The silver chain attached to his dog tags creased his neck.

Still, he managed to look a little thuggish, which Olivia encouraged. Despite his not-so-scary diet club soda.

The drink had a lime slice in it.

She shook her head.

"Should I be more like you?" Rafe asked.

"Why not? Loosen up. Talk. Party."

He shook his head. "I look at you, Olivia--"

Not that he would ever call her mom. She pictured him on his wedding day, and at the birth of his first child, and at the christening, introducing her to her new in-laws. "I look at you, Olivia--"

He went on. "--and I see the wildness. I see it there. Those crazy eyes. You just want to get up on this bar and dance, don't you?"

The bartender looked pained.

Olivia pointed her shot glass at Rafe and said, "You're projecting."

"You're projecting, man. I take after my mother."

Olivia grinned.

Rafe smiled back and clinked her glass with his.

"I'm glad you're back in town," Olivia said.

"Sure."

"Got any scars yet? Things I can't tell your mother about?"

"Please. Like I see any action. But--" Rafe put his glass down and held out his hand. "Look. Callouses. From the guns. And there, the damned trigger pinched me like… Every time. I'm a terrible shot. But they say that's, like, normal."

She took his hand in hers, smoothing her fingers over the rigid bumps that were skin but not quite flesh. Marks of his work.

He said, "My hands bled for days."

She looked up, meeting his eyes. He gazed back. Confident.

Kind.

He couldn't see her scar tissue, but he knew it was there. She supposed she was all right with him knowing. It meant they shared something. Something neither of them shared with Natalia. She squeezed his hand. He kept smiling, but withdrew, and signaled for a refill.

"Rafe--"

"You know," he said. "I didn't think you'd stay."

"I didn't think you'd go."

He sipped club soda, pretending to be interested in the lime rind.

She waited.

He said, "I thought my mom like--it was unnatural. Not in a gay way, come on, but like--mom had joined a cult or something. Been sucked in. So I had to save her."

"No one saves your mom, Rafe. She saves us."

"Yeah."

She looked at the shot glass in her hand and then offered it to him.

He waved it away and said, "You're not going to get me to tell you anything else, Olivia."

"Oh, I know. " She took the glass back. "But if I drink just the right amount, I can beat you at pool."

"Not on your life."

* * *

Olivia, giddily toasted, stumbled into the farmhouse where Natalia was waiting for her.

It was the only reason to go home.

"Did Rafe drive you home?" Natalia asked.

"Did he ever."

"Did he--"

Olivia smiled."He was a good kid. Don’t worry. He was with his legal guardian, after all."

"I still can't believe he consented to that."

"He wants the inheritance."

"He'll sure be in for a surprise," Natalia said.

Olivia's smile got wider. She leaned in to kiss Natalia.

"Oh, geez, tequila breath…I don't think so."

"It's late," Olivia said. "We should be in bed."

"You know, I agree. I do agree with you."

"Me too." Olivia tried to hug Natalia, but Natalia pushed her away.

"I love you. But if you want to be with me, sweetheart, you're going to take a shower."

"It's late," Olivia said.

Natalia gave her a little push.

Olivia kicked off her shoes and stumbled toward the bathroom. On her way she asked, "Did you know the farmhouse smells like pumpkin spice?"

"I am aware," Natalia said.

"Just checking."

"Please. Shower."

"God," Olivia said. "I have such a needy girlfriend."

"Aw, what can I say? I happen to fall for people who are kind to my children."

"Don't you ever think that's how you ended up with so many?"

Natalia just shook her head, urged her into the bathroom and closed the door on her.

Olivia turned on the water and then undressed. The undoing of buttons and stepping out of slacks took forever. She was clumsy. The fabric had morphed, somehow, into a confusing maze her fingers couldn't navigate. Finally, naked, with the water hot enough, she sat on the warm, slippery tile of the shower stall, her feet still on the rug outside, the curtain sticking to her side. Her eyes drifted closed. The spray stung her face and her chest.

She breathed humid air.

She hated showers.

They reminded her of--too much--and she could never get clean. Her skin wouldn't melt into the silky smoothness that Natalia had. She would never smell clean, even with the water hurting her, hot little needles pricking. She opened her mouth and let it fill with water and spat it out, but the alcohol was still there. The bad breath.

She should ask for a toothbrush.

The bathroom door opened.

"Oh, good, Natalia, can you get me a toothbrush--"

"Shssh," Natalia said, and then she was there, pushing back the curtain, at eye-level.

Naked.

Olivia's eyes widened.

Natalia leaned in and kissed Olivia.

"Don't--"

Olivia didn't want Natalia there. She didn't want sex there. And she really didn't want to explain--

"Hold still… Be careful," Natalia said.

Olivia complied, looking through half-lids at Natalia. Natalia worked her way into the shower stall, her back pressed against the front wall, her legs bent over Olivia's so there were really just thighs. Way too many thighs at unnatural angles.

Olivia raised her eyebrows.

Natalia smiled and cupped Olivia's cheek. The touch brought a calmness, a reverence that made Olivia want to purr when she should be furious.

"Comfortable?" Olivia asked.

"Immensely. You have no idea." Natalia said.

Olivia smiled.

Natalia's thumb pulled down Olivia's lower lip.

Olivia sighed and tugged on Natalia's knees, bringing her closer, hopefully making her more comfortable than the cramped, pretzel shape Natalia had adopted in trying to share the space instead of invade it.

Mercifully, the water pouring on them was still warm. But Olivia knew she must look liked a drowned rat. Makeup probably stained her face. Her nipples had all but disappeared in the humid heat.

Natalia traced Olivia's ear and then tucked wet hair behind it.

Olivia drummed her fingers on Natalia's knees.

Natalia said, "I just wanted to make new memories. With you."

Something in Olivia's throat constricted, preventing her from asking, "What's wrong with the old ones?"

Natalia knew damn well what was wrong with them.

She couldn't say "Damn you" either. Or "Let me out," so she just looked at Natalia like a fierce, hungry wolf. Hoping to scare her out of the forest. Grrrr.

Natalia's hands slid to her breasts, and then over her heart.

"All right, what?" Olivia asked.

A beatific smile crossed Natalia's face and her hand pressed, right against Olivia's chest, hurting but not letting her get away.

Natalia said simply, "I said. You and me."

"On the floor of the shower?"

"Yes. Yeah."

With Natalia's thighs pressed against her waist, with Natalia's full breasts just beyond her own, with Natalia's quirky smile and the way the water ran through her hair and onto her shoulders and her stomach, Olivia was thinking of nothing else but her.

So she slowly smiled.

"Oh no," Natalia said. "No. What are you thinking now?"

Olivia asked, "That this is part of an every-room-in-the-house thing, isn't it? It's the shower's turn?"

"Uh…"

Olivia drew Natalia's hand up to her lips and kissed her palm. Then she held Natalia's fingers against her mouth.

Natalia asked, "I really hadn't considered, um, sex in the shower. I mean, people do that on T.V. But. It's just…kind of weird."

"People on T.V. have bigger showers, clearly."

"Clearly. I should tell you, Olivia, that--I'm not leaving this shower."

Olivia arched her eyebrows. She nipped Natalia's fingers and then let her go in order to cup Natalia's neck. Her thumbs stroked Natalia's jaw.

Natalia arched her neck.

"I think," Olivia said. "That there is no way you are getting out of this shower without my help, anyway."

Natalia smiled.

The water was still warm, though less warm--maybe Olivia's imagination. She leaned into kiss Natalia. Natalia kept grinning into the kiss, her hair wet, sliding through Olivia's fingers as she played against Natalia's shoulders. When their lips met, Olivia felt a rush of appreciation rise in her chest, through her throat. She was so thankful for Natalia that for the first moment of every kiss, all she could do was hold still and wait for the world to end.

But Natalia's lips moved against her mouth, reminding her of earthier pleasures. Olivia closed her eyes, letting Natalia in. Natalia's hands moved to her breasts, knowing to stroke with just that finger on precisely that curve--Olivia shivered. Natalia knew her so intimately, had explored her so thoroughly, that she touched without searching.

And she knew just when to slide her fingers lower, even though Olivia wanted her to squeeze.

Olivia growled, and then hissed as Natalia's fingers slid between her legs. Natalia kissed Olivia's cheek and then her neck and then her shoulder.

Olivia desired to retaliate, rather than loll back against the shower wall, overcome by Natalia's precisely pushing, stretching fingers. But she could barely bring herself to focus on Natalia's face. The water was cooling, like the spray of a waterfall, bringing Natalia's warm touch into contrast.

"You are kind of insatiable, you know?" Natalia said.

"Funny," Olivia said. "I wonder why that is."

Natalia tilted her head questioningly.

Olivia threaded her fingers through Natalia's hair firmly and kissed her. She kept her mouth on Natalia's throughout Natalia's stroking, touching, fingertips straying to inner thigh, making Olivia croon and beg and make promises until Natalia, laughing, gave in.

Natalia always gave in. She let Olivia shudder until their teeth clattered together and Olivia drew back, gasping, catching water in her mouth, on her eyelids, on Natalia's fingers. The orgasms Natalia wrought always threatened to shake her apart.

When she felt less fragile, she glared at Natalia.

Natalia covered her smile with her hand.

"My legs are cramping," Olivia said.

Natalia rubbed her knee.

"Thanks. Can we at least stand up?"

"It's going to be--hold on, let me figure it out," Natalia said.

"I think you have to go first. Grab onto my shoulders and I'll push your butt."

"What?"

"Come on."

"I can't just--"

"Here. Put your knees--it's okay if you squish me--yes, like that--"

Natalia's stomach pressed against her chest in the most unsexy way as Natalia knelt, pulling on Olivia's head--

"Ow."

"I'm sorry. Olivia…"

And then Natalia was balancing on one leg, then another, with Olivia holding her steady as she braced herself against the tile.

"Now you, okay?" Natalia looked down through her arms.

"Oh, I'm not getting up."

Natalia's eyes widened. "But your legs. Olivia--"

"I lied."

She hadn't really lied, but now that Natalia wasn't taking up half the space, she could at least reposition herself. She held onto Natalia's waist, and shifted, and then was in the perfect place to kiss the spot just below Natalia's belly button..

Natalia said, "I'll fall. I don't want to fall." She settled her hand on Olivia's head.

"I'll hold you up."

"Because you're a woman of many talents?"

"A few."

Then Olivia's kisses moved lower, and she nosed against Natalia's thigh, and inhaled deeply, amazed still that Natalia let her get this close. Past everyone else and all the drama to where there was just Natalia's scent, and taste--

Natalia squeaked when Olivia's tongue made contact. Her grip tightened on Olivia's hair. Olivia stroked with her tongue, long and languid. She was patient.

This was the only time she was ever patient.

"You are such trouble," Natalia said. "Olivia."

The words were just a sign that Olivia should suck, instead of tease. Past tantalization, past flirtation, into the real thing. Them together--

"Please, Olivia. Don't--I don't--"

Olivia pulled back far enough to look up, to meet Natalia's anguished gaze, and say, "I won't ever stop. I won't let you go."

Nothing made Olivia feel more powerful than the tense relief on Natalia's face. That surrender to promises kept and to naked hope. Natalia could stop worrying.

Natalia caressed Olivia's head, ran her fingers down the back of Olivia's neck.

Olivia purred. Strange to feel tame just when Natalia was giving into her own wild side. She pursued Natalia, pressing her mouth to Natalia's core and letting Natalia guide her. She'd never let anyone else tell her what to do during sex. But where Natalia invited, she went without hesitation.

The shower spray was icy, spraying onto her shoulders and chilling her shins. Water ran in rivulets around her knees and over Natalia's toes. Natalia had her head thrown back so that the spray landed on her chest. Her nipples tightened under the sting.

"Olivia," Natalia said. "Olivia."

Olivia pressed close, offering her passion, unworried about pushing Natalia to the edge. That would come in time with her lips and her tongue and her arms holding Natalia close and with her heart pounding in her chest. Getting Natalia excited was the most thrilling part. The real part. Enjoying the excitement was just the bonus, the time and place where Olivia could revel and hide and love.

Which was now her shower.

She smiled against Natalia, who tugged her hair and said, "Please, Olivia. Please...More."

More. She could do more.

She could do anything.

Natalia's spasms cascaded through them both and danced on Olivia's tongue. She shook with them. The pressure from Natalia's fingers and thighs made her ears ring.

More.

Natalia breathed and half-coughed and half-laughed. She reached behind herself to turn off the water. She nudged Olivia off of her.

Olivia, legs aching, freezing cold, smiled as Natalia stepped out of the shower and then pushed the short curtain back. She knelt to pull Olivia's legs out. Olivia curled her toes against the bath rug. Fuzzy. Warm.

"Hey. What are you doing? Come on," Natalia said.

"I think after that I need a shower," Olivia said.

Natalia shook her head. They clasped hands. Natalia pulled her to her feet so Olivia could hug her, tightly, fully, and let Natalia gently rub her back.

"I think that you're all clean," Natalia said.

"If you say so. And sober, now. Let me at least blow dry my hair, if we're just going back to bed."

"I'll put on some decaf and milk? How does that sound?"

"Fabulous."

They drew apart, and Natalia said, "And… Maybe while we're in the kitchen we should talk about a new water heater."

Olivia gave her a lazy smile. "Part of the charm of the old farmhouse."

"My old farmhouse?"

"Rustic."

Natalia tapped her stomach.

"The fantastic farmhouse."

"That part's true. Go, blow dry. I love you."

"Love you too. See you soon," Olivia said.

She pushed Natalia out of the bathroom and reached for a towel. The sooner she got this done, the sooner she could be back with Natalia.

END


End file.
